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Self Sabotage: Why are we our own Worst Enemy?

Self-sabotage. What an ugly phrase. Yet, so many of us have fallen into it. And we will claim, often through tears and not for the first time, that getting fit is what we really, really want.

And yet every time we get close to our goal… what happens? We fall apart. We have the information. We have the resources. We know what we are supposed to be doing to get where we need (and want!) to go. But we get in the way of our own progress.

Why?

It isn’t easy to get your head and body on the same page when it comes to your fitness goals. We have all heard the lines “Well, you fear success,”or “You fear failure,” in answer to our self sabotaging questions. Unfortunately, this only scratches the surface.

Its time to rip the band aids off, Campers.

Emotional Baggage. That’s right. We all have it. When we carry around emotional baggage and don’t take the time to truly face it, self-sabotage occurs. Does the following sound familiar?

While we know all the reasons to lose weight, is there a part of our subconscious that thinks where we are is just fine? Is there a payoff to staying where we are at?

If we start to succeed, will our closest friends and family resent us for it? Will they distance themselves? Can we live a fulfilling life without those friends-even when they don’t have our best interests at heart?

What if we do succeed? Are we afraid that more will be required of us, and that we can’t handle that?

Or have we failed as this fitness thing so often that we’re afraid this latest effort will simply be another notch in the loser belt?

We keep insisting that we want to change our lives but are we afraid of what comes with change? At least you know your life now, right?

The reasons behind self-sabotaging behavior are not going to be easy to analyze, nor will they be immediately crystal clear. It will take time and effort to sift through your varying emotions. There are a lot of questions you need to ask yourself and answer honestly. When you have those answers, look at them with fresh eyes and try to figure out why you have been blocking your own success.

It is time to find your own voice. Do not let others and their feelings and their expectations of you trump your own.

Think you are alone? Read these comments:

“Personally, I have a bit (no, a lot!) of “then what?” feeling when I am close to or at goal. I seem to flounder when I don’t have a direction. Going up and going down – I know what that feels like. Moving FORWARD in a new direction? Feels very unfamiliar.

I know all of this fiddling around with weight is a distraction from what is going on underneath. I am ready to start digging (archeological!) and get on with REAL living!”

“This is the whole issue of maintenance where there is no direction and no goal. It’s going to be this way forever and there will be no smaller sizes or comments from people about how you have lost weight, etc. I feel that you have to be in it for yourself. You have to chose health for yourself, because you are worth it.”

“One problem I have is that I don’t want to dig up all of that ugly, messy, internal stuff that is truly hindering me.

 I want the dirty work to be over with already, and real life is just not like that.”

“I’m constantly on a diet, thinking about going on a diet or on the brink of starting yet another diet. My mind is constantly reeling with thoughts about how I’ll be a much happier, successful, fashionable, confident, interesting, attractive person if I was thinner. I’ve pretty much blamed my weight for anything and everything that hasn’t gone right in my life, all the opportunities I’ve turned down, all the hiding I do. I’ve always felt that deep down inside I’m a really confident and beautiful person but my weight is blocking me from that. So I finally asked myself that question, “why is it that just as I’m about to really get into that weight loss territory where things almost shift and change, where it really matters; I somehow sabotage my attempts and give up?” I ultimately revert back to my old habits and once again beat myself (with a kind of self-satisfied, “I knew you couldn’t do it”) and retreating into my fat shell, on the fringes of society and refusing to engage in social activities, meet new people, take a risk and listen to my heart. It is time for me to scratch the surface into the ‘why?’ All my life I have defined myself by my appearance. In my case, my appearance was thus defined by weight. My weight has been in some way been a security blanket. I’ve used it as a crutch and a scapegoat when I’ve felt people are criticising me, when I’ve felt ignored, when I didn’t have any success with the opposite sex etc. etc. Without the weight, who/what will have to blame??? Losing the weight will mean I will have to start pointing the finger elsewhere, more specifically at myself and the core of me. All the things that define me as person outside of the physical will have to come into question and I think that’s what scares me. I will have to face true reality when, for the past 26 years, I’ve let my reality be defined by my weight. Scary. Now, where to from here?”

Well, Campers? Let us know your thoughts and feelings on this one. It is a sensitive subject for many, but at the same time, we all can use support on this!

Sources: http://www.crankyfitness.com

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